jangan MALAS !!!!!

 huh! sedihnya bila tengok result kuiz bio td..even kuiz pun dah worst apakn lagi final sem ni..Alhamdulillah pointer sem satu 3.85..tp x ke nanti d purata kan lg pointer tu..huh..apa nak jadi lah ni.. kimia,math,sains com..hmm,ni dah tggal 4 subject je..tu pun x boleh nak scor 4 flat lagi...
   bila dtg rasa malas,apa pun x jadi..takutlah..kdg2 rasa nak balik je rumah hari2,paling kurg pun dapat tgk muka ibu...sejuk sikit...takpelah..lepas ni belajar rajin2 sbb Allah x bg free result gempak..kita yg kena struggle sendiri utk dapatkan apa yg kita nak dalam hidup kita..bangun fyzah..you can do it..nothing impossible..

miXeD~~~

tomorrow,i will leave my house..rasa berat sangat..dah tak boleh tidur ikut suka lagi lepas ni..dah tak boleh stay up lama2 untuk berfoya2 lagi..sebab biasanya aku akan stay untuk layan vlog mat luthfi atau anwar hadi..kadang2 tu layan tv jugaklah sampai lewat pagi..then barulah tidur..esoknya mmg tak tidur lepas subuh api tunggulah lepas mandi..dalam pkul 10 mesti aku sambung balik tidur aku..haha..tapi lately ni mmg aku tidur lepas subuh r..haha

  makin teruklah..aku x tau mcm mana nak sampaikan..tapi dah mcm2 aku cuba untuk perbaikinya jadi baik..tapi usaha tak pernah menjadi..tulah,gatal sangatkan..kan dah getting worst..tetiba masuk tajuk lain ea..kehkehkeh..sebenarnya,aku dah lekat gila dengan tv..sampaikan mak aku pun tak boleh sentuh tv tu bila aku ada..haha..CSI lah,every minute one born lah and byk lagi sebenarnya..

   aku sebenarnya makin takut nak jejak kaki kat kolej jumaat ni..dahlah muet x study..speaking test hari tu dah lah paling worst..mmg wajib repeatlah aku lepas ni..haha..nak buat macam mana kan..dah nasib badan..kehkehkeh..yakin sangat fluent..amik kau..kan dah gagap..menggigil gila..mmg aku tak tau lah apa yang aku buat hari tu..lagi satu exam sem satu..mau menakutkan aku punya result..math aku main taram je...betullah kata mat luthfi..masa perlukan DIA,baru sibuk mintak keajaiban berlaku lah..tapi sumpah r..mmg exam math hari tu mintak aku terjun katil je..haha..pointer UPS dah okey..mau pointer SEM satu ni bagi nightmare untuk aku..waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,tak mau...

  aku dah siap packing sikit2 untuk balik nnti..malas nak bawak barang banyak2..cuba tak beli lagi hadiah untuk Biha..sebab aku rasa bersalah sangat kalau tak bagi dia..dahlah selalu g katil dia mintak makanan..kehkehkeh..habislah aku kalau dia tuntut..

jourNey~~~

dua hari je tinggal..tomorrow,i will leave my house and stay in jB for two days..after that,i will back to kedah for begin my study for semester two..macam tak ada rumah sendiri je..dapat stay kat rumah kejap je..yg lain,semuanya isi dekat jB..

how about this holiday..bolehlah darpada tak ada kan..i spent a weeks with my beloved mom..no kakak, and no bibie..it's very nice to me because we always grabbed our mom..boleh tidur dengan mak berdua je..besnya..sedihnya nak tinggalkan rumah..tapi ada benefit jugak when i leave my house..x payah fikir nak gaduh2 lagi..haha..asyik2 gaduh je..lepas tu buat drama air mata..it's totally disaster for me because i'm always being the prey..

dah tak ada tv2 lagi lepas ni..lappy pun aku tinggal..kalau sem satu yang sebelum ni aku rasa aku dah push gila2 tu pun susah lagilah untuk sem dua ni..so,aku akan tinggalkan segala benda yang boleh melalaikan aku..haha..takpelah..sacrifice for something is not lost..kalau masa SPM aku boleh,then kenapa untuk skrg ni i can't..

kalau ikutkan,just berapa lama je aku spent the day dgn family..since  form one i spent in hostel..spent almost half my life with my friends only..and now,i'm getting 19 years old,i'm still stay with my friend..sedihnya..

but nobody cares because they always try to grab my mom..haha..kalau dulu ada ayah tak payah nak rebut2..i miss my dad..dah lama x ziarah rumah dia..x ada siapa nak bawak..x ada lesenlah nak g..takut pulak tu,,doakan dia hari2 pun dah cukupkan..(sedapkan hati sendiri je ni)..kekehkeh

mE is mE

i just wanna to run from my prOblem..is it wrOng..i can't wait for a long periOd for them accept me..
i can't change myself for their happiness..for what reason..me is me..

they do not knew me very well even we're staying under the same roof.,share the same room for a long long period..if i say no,its only nO..no any answer beside nO..it can't be yes whateverhappen..keras kepala..??
of course..i've nothing to say if they judge me like that..

why..because they never try to understand me..they never felt what i'm felt before..hidup dalam ketakutan..every night i will hold my father's cloth when i'm felt frightened..they never know..
i never got a nice sleep when i'm fright about something..it's always nightmare..until now..
i just can let it go..it's hard..too hard//

thanks God...

  praise to Allah..even it still not the best in the world,but to make my beloved family proud of me,it's still enough for me..Thank God..you gave me the happiest things in this world..when my name is called on the stage for a gain 7A's, it is very unbelieveable..but deep inside,i'm felt very unsatisfied with my friends result..Alia and Linda..they are my besties..they guide me to know more deepest about islam..they just got 5A's..but i believe that one fine day they will get the best things in the world.. Allah give what we need not what we want..

   My mom is the happiest person when i told her that i've got 7A's..she is totally happy and proud with me..and my siblings as well..thanks God that i could make them happy with my result..but i can't make my Angah's dream becomes true..what is it..he dreams that one of his sister can be an engineer..
but i'm just got C for fizik..so,to make his dream become true is totally zeero..i'm so disapointed about this.but,what will help..nope..